Women are born with pain built in. It's our physical destiny. Period pains, sore boobs, childbirth, you know. We carry it within ourselves throughout our lives.

女人生来就内置了各种痛苦，这是我们生理上的宿命。姨妈痛、涨奶痛、生产痛，所有那些，伴随着我们一生。

Men don't. They have to seek it out. They invent all this gods and demens and things. Just so they can feel guilty about things, which is something we also do very well on our own.

男人则没有，他们的痛都需要自己去寻找。所以他们编了上帝啊地狱啊的那一套，让自己能自苦、能身心有所痛楚，而我们女人在这件事上丝毫不逊、还自给自足。

And then they create wars. So they can feel things and touch each other. And when there aren't any wars they can paly rugby. And we have it all going on in here, inside. We have pain on a cycle for years and years and years.

他们想出打仗这一招，就为了能让彼此间感受苦痛。没仗可打的时候他们就去玩橄榄球。而我们的痛苦一直都在，周期性的、年复一年地痛。

And then, just you feel you are making peace of it all. What happens? The menopause comes. The fucking menopause comes. It is the most wonderful fucking thing in the world! And, yes, your entire pelvic floor crumbles, but then you're free. No longer a slave, no longer a machine, with parts.

等到你终于可以接受这些痛的时候，终于来了，绝经期来了，绝经期终于来了……它他妈的是这世界上最棒的一件事！是啊，虽然骨盆的确会塌下来，但你自由了，不再是奴隶，不再是生育机器。

You're just a person in business. It is horrendous, but then it's magnificent. Something to look forward to.

你终于可以做一个性别不再重要的庸庸路人。看起来很可怕，其实很神奇。期待吧。

What if you meet someone you like? 那你遇到喜欢的人怎么办？

I talk and drink and laugh and give them Bibles, and hope they eventually leave me alone. 我会和他们聊天、喝酒、大笑、给他们圣经，希望他们会最终离开我。

What if you meet someone you love? 那你遇到你爱的人怎么办？

We're not going to have sex. I know that's what you think you want from me. But it's not. 我是不会跟你上床的。我明白你觉得你是想从我这里得到这个，但其实不是。

Loneliness pays. 孤独经济。

Hair is everything. 发型就是一切。

We wish it wasn't, so we could actually think about something else occasionally, but it is. 我们也希望不是，这样可能偶尔还会去考虑点别的，然而发型就是很重要。

It's the difference between a good day and a bad day. 发型直接决定了我们的一天过得好还是不好。

We're meant to think that it's a symbol of power, that it's a symbol of fertility. 我们就是会觉得它象征着力量，象征着魅力。

Some people are exploited for it. And it pays for your fucking bills. 有的人会为了一个好发型不计代价。而那它他妈就是你手里拿的工钱。

Hair is everything. 发型就是一切。

So, it turns out it's quite hard to come up with something original to say about love. But I've had a go.

我发现想原创一些对“爱”的看法，很不简单。姑且让我试一下。

Love is awful. It's awful. It's painful. It's frightening. 爱不是个好东西。不仅不好，还令人痛苦，叫人害怕。

Makes you doubt yourself, judge yourself. Distance yoursefl from the other people in your life. Make you selfish. Makes you creepy. Makes you obessed with your hair. Makes you cruel. Makes you say and do things you never thought you would do! 爱让你自我怀疑，让你反省自身，让你离群索居，让你自私自利，让你阴阳怪气，让你顾影自怜，让你残酷无情，让你变得不像你自己。

It's all any of us want. And it's hell when we get there! So, no wonder, it's something we don't want to do on our own. 我们都渴望爱，到头来却发现爱带我们走向地狱。所以难怪我们不想独自经历。

I was taught if we're born with love, then life is about choosing the right place to put it. People talk about that a lot: 'It feeling right', 'When it feels right it's easy'. But I'm not sure that's true. 别人告诉我爱是与生俱来的，所以人生来的目的就是为爱找到合适的归属。他们总说：“感觉对了”，“感觉对了就好办”。但我对此困惑不已。

It takes strength to know what's right. And love isn't something that weak people do. 分辨这感觉对不对，非常需要勇气。所以爱，不是弱者能做的事。

Being a romantic takes a hell of a lot of hope. 做一个浪漫的人，内心得怀着多么多的希望啊。

I think what they mean is... when you find somebody that you love, it feels like hope. 我想他们的意思应该是，当你找到你爱的那个人，就像找到了希望。

So thank you for bringing us all together here today. To take words from this book of love. Be strong and take heart. All you who hope in the lord. 谢谢你们今天让我们得以一窥爱的真谛，心怀勇气，感谢造物主。